Quick & dirty porkon-bleu

AKA pork coron-bleu for when you're high.

Slicing out pockets in the meat, making bechamel etc can fuck itself when you're high, this is fact.
Corners cut does not an undelicious meal make.

4 Pork chops (bone in, .75 in is what I like)
Flour
Breadcrumbs
1 egg
Smokey deli ham (tavern ham works well) sliced about what you would normally have (threeish mm thick)
(baby) Spinach
Good swiss cheese, sliced thin
Dijon mustard
Oil (I use 1:2 olive to peanut)

Liberally season pork chops with salt & pepper, bit of garlic & onion powder; allow to sit at room temperature ~1 hour.
Set up a flour-egg wash-breadcrumbs station and proceed as normal (if you don't know how to do this may god have mercy on your soul). I like a teaspoon or so mustard in the egg wash, dunno if it does anything but I do it regardless.
Fry pork chops on high three to four minutes per side, just for color.
Place a cookie rack on a baking pan and arrange chops.
Smear one teaspoon dijon on chops. Top with ham, baby spinach and two slices swiss.
Throw in preheated 410 oven for no longer than fifteen minutes (remember pork's best friend the digital beepy oven thermometer) until cooked through and cheese is simply gorgeous.

Cuban fried rice

I had planned on making some fried rice (I bought two extra steamed rices the other day just for the occasion) but we had a ton of leftover yellow rice so I figured I'd use it.
I realized it was still a bit moist but tried anyway.
Got the age-old crust on the bottom and need for too much oil that comes from using boiled rice.
Simply gotta use steamed.

Not bad, though.

The one time it sounds like I came up with something high

Toast Chee (cheese crackers sandwiching peanut butter, AMAZING) are absolutely fantastic smashed up in (vanilla) ice cream.
Quarters/fifthish are perfectly sized.

Anyone who doesn't like salty-sweet is an ignoramus.

Not so hypothetical question

Is it wrong to stir a bloody Mary with a chicken wing?

If so I don't want to be right.