Ostentatiously rich hot choco

1 can sweetened condensed milk
Milk
2/3 (ish) cup dark cocoa
1 tbsp Instapowder espresso
Salt
Ground cinnamon
Cayenne pepper

Mix 1 can sweetened condensed milk and ~6 cups milk, heat on medium-low to drinking temperature. While this is heating mix cocoa powder and espresso with a big pinch of salt, ~quarter teaspoon cinnamon and slight pinch of cayenne.

Gradually add powder mix to hot milk while thoroughly whisking, try to get a nice froth going.

Serve in various cool, unique mugs without marshmallows because that's trashy.

Drunk Carrots

I made this ages ago and just remembered it a tick ago.

Brown ale (Newcastle, something fall/winter seasonal, etc)

Carrots

Butter

Cinnamon (maybe a very small amount of clove, though I've not tried it)

Brown sugar (dark is always best)

Heat small saucepan on medium, add two pats butter and carrots. Baby carrots work well or broad sliced on the bias carrots would surely work. Sauté lightly for ~three and a half minutes and add ~one tablespoon brown  sugar and two pops of cinnamon (just tap the container with the shaker top). Melt sugar down for a minute or so before adding half a cup of brown ale (or however much to not quite cover). Bump heat up to medium high and boil for four to five minutes until desired texture is achieved and serve.

Lentil Stew

WARNING, unfortunately I've always been sober when I've made this, but I typed up the recipe for my aunt so I might as well put it here.

Lentil Stew

~1 lb Sausage (Italian, andouille, something with some spice)

1 package lentils (1 lb)

1 lb chopped (frozen) spinach

2-3 large onions

3 carrots (peeled)

1 can diced tomatoes

2 cloves garlic

2 bay leaves

2 large potatoes

Salt & pepper

Ham hock/bouillon

Olive oil

Feta cheese

If using ham hock, boil with ~1 quart water + 2 tbsp salt for an hour or two; if using bouillon add ~2 tbsp to hot water (stovetop or microwave H2O).

Dice onions, slice carrots (matchstick or rounds) chop potatoes and mince garlic; season and saute with olive oil in a large pot until onions soft/translucent ~5-8 minutes. Remove veggies, skin sausages and add loose meat to pan, break the meat up and let it get a decent brown. Add veggies, canned tomatoes' water (to deglaze) and lentils. Cover with ~1.5 inches broth and two bay leaves; lentils need a lot of salt, taste the broth and use your best judgment is all I can say. Bring to boil, drop to low and simmer ~25 minutes with lid just ajar. At 15-17 minutes cooking time add thawed spinach (with any water from thawing) and tomatoes, you can add them with the rest of the veggies but they can be bit muted after 25 minutes. Mash the lentils/potatoes a bit with a potato masher, stir and serve with crusty bread. I like a bit of feta cheese and or a cheese chip (I dunno what else to call it, you know when you just throw some cheese in a pan and melt it down then it gets crispy/chewy) poked down and fanned out; a bit of blue cheese makes it exceedingly creamy, as another option.

Obviously this makes quite a lot of stew but I'm used to cooking for my large family of large eaters, fortunately it keeps well and is freezer-friendly.